The Meaning
In this illustrative painting named “In the Eye of the Beholder,” there is a spiral of transparent and colorful balls coming from an eye in outer space.
The Eye
This eye represents the Creator of all living things.
Beauty of New
At the top right, there is a newborn baby (where I used a picture of my nephew Jameson), who has a heart with a rose bursting out of him which expresses the beauty of new birth through faith. I used this picture because, after he was born, I remember holding him in the hospital and having a wonderful experience with him and my sister. I sensed much love for him in the room and began to contemplate how innocent and precious a new born child is to God and to the family He gives them to.
Christ in the Cross
Behind the newborn is a cross with Christ’s face inside of it representing the hope of a life lived inside redemption.
Skull and Crossbones
Below, to the right of the cross is a skull and broken bones symbolizing death and the falling away of life on earth.
Sick Heart
To the left of the skull is an expression of my sick heart with its tongue out and an eye on the right atrium, indicating that it sees all of the time that I lost (represented by the jagged clock hand underneath that bubble) and how I have been deceived and led in such a horrifying way by my parents’ lack of faith in their own lives. At the same time, the eye from my heart is looking at a ball with a palm tree with a pathway to a castle in heaven that speaks of a more promising future.
A Dark and Painful Path
Just up to the left from the palm tree is Calculus Equation that sets limits from one to infinity with X squared as a function of a derivative which equals a question mark. This represents psychological and emotional struggles stemming from my long and painful college career in mathematics which I eventually ended up hating and dropping out of. My whole life, my father pushed me to pursue a mathematics career when I did not want to and that eventually led me to question why I was so adamantly led down this dark and painful path in the first place.
Drug and Alcohol Abuse
There is an angel on the left side of the ball spiral watching me (in despair) smoke weed and drinking. Drug and alcohol abuse was a very big part of my life for a long time, and it was my way of dealing with the harsh reality of my life and where I was headed.
Scale
The bubble to the right of myself smoking a joint with a bottle next to me, you can see a scale with my heart on one side and the world on the other. My heart is tipping the scale down, meaning my heart cannot carry the weight of the world’s issues so that I want to let go of the things inside of it that are too much of a burden for me to carry.
Love of Music
Up and to the left of the scale is a drum with sticks hitting it. This symbolizes my love for rhythm and music. There are also musical notes to the left and above to express my love and passion for all the music that I have heard throughout my life that have helped me cope with the stressors of life around me.
Watched by an Angel
The angel in back (curving around the spiral) is looking on in amazement to see how God is leading me through all the pitfalls of my life on earth.
This painting was inspired by previous paintings I did called, “Master of the Universe” and “Out of the Earth.”
The Process
I can remember doing a colorful scheme of different jagged lines underneath what you see here and really liking the outcome, but I later covered it up with black to do this illustration. If you look closely, you can see the distinct colors bleeding through the black paint on the bottom right corner and the upper right-hand corner.
In the middle of the spiral are streaks of white where I painted over the underlying colors coming through the black to match the colors of the spiral balls. There are painted over images in other pieces as well, such as Doctor John in “Creation of the Blues” because that painting needed more space in between the characters.