The Meaning

“Jacob’s Ladder Vision” was done during one of the lowest and lonely points of my life. I seemed to have lost my way in my faith in God because my life had gone in a direction that did not seem right to me. Things certainly did not go the way I thought they would. My personal issues seemed to have gotten worse despite trying so hard to seek His help in books, counseling, ministry, and friendships in different faith-based communities.

Surprisingly, I started to use drugs and alcohol again after being sober for over ten years. For so long, I endured spiritual abuse and most of my relationships went bad or they never developed at all. Because of these bad experiences, I certainly did not want to go back to organized religion or ministry ever again.

I remember venting to God, “If You are anything like the leaders or their followers or the many people I’ve met in organized religion, then I don’t want anything to do with You!”

Ladder of Faith

Later that night, I was shocked to receive this vision through God’s Spirit and was encouraged by His presence to go on with Him despite all that had happened and to continue to climb up the “ladder of faith” with Him. To me, this experience was a big turning point with my understanding of how I saw God relating to me through the compassion of his Son. I no longer saw Him through the eyes of religious leaders or “task masters” waiting for me to do something for Him, but ironically, me receiving His goodness for me.

Assurance

After I was done with the painting, I found it interesting that Christ was holding the ladder up at the top and this assured me that if He were holding it, then no one could ever shake me off it. This story is found in the book of Genesis, chapter 28, verses 10 through 22.

Numerous Decendants

The stars on the side of Christ represent the scripture (Genesis 22:17) of God telling Abraham that his decendants will be as numerous as the stars in heaven.

This piece is like another one I did named, “Sacred Heart / Beast in the Way” in the way they both express my need for God’s help in continuing in my relationship with Him.

The Process

I remember, at the time I began to create the piece, my roommate told me he was dying of cancer, and he had only a few months to live. He asked me if I would stay with him until the end of his life and I told him I would. He had no one else to be with him.

Even his girlfriend left him a few months before he knew he was terminally ill. Besides me, the only person he had left in his life was his mother who was in a nursing home. He was able to visit her almost every day up to the last day of his life. I was with him when he died in his bed in our apartment.

One Touch

This affected me in the way that I expressed myself as a dead man (on the bottom of the piece) with the black blanket over me. It looks like I’m lying in a coffin-like position, never expecting to come to life again. When an angel touched my forehead, it was like I instantly came back to life again with one touch from the Spirit of Christ!

After this dreamscape-like experience, I will never forget waking up and asking God, “You’re still with me after everything I’ve done, like going back to drugs and alcohol, and no longer wanting to be a part of organized religious ministries?” This was one of the profound experiences that I have had that I believe broke me loose from being deceived by organized religion because it was obvious to me that God did not judge me based on my behavior or what I was told I must do for Him.